Sweet November Ashes

At the end of every year, there's this feeling that lingers... A feeling of disappointment or even emptiness. These feelings have been conjuring up since January, and it's not the first time. It's every year. At this time. This exact time.

I ask myself why? It's because I wasted another year. I did absolutely nothing that could possibly benefit my future. *shrugs*

I'm just blabbing. Anyways, I find myself in a predicament. When am I not in a predicament? Need I say more. I don't know what to do with myself this coming year. I want to advance in the company, but I'm almost afraid to... I mentioned it to my manager... But I think the thought of me actually becoming successful is a little overwhelming.. So new opportunities, I tend to shy away from.. :\ Lame but it's true, I'm scared. That's sounds aweful coming from me, but it's the truth. I also want to go back to school, but go back to school for what? I don't know what I want to study and learn.. :\

These thoughts are never going to become something I'm going to actually act on. This sucks..

~♥