4th Street is a calmer Fillmore

Strange to say. The store has that feeling to it and it's very noticable as soon as you step into the store. I like it. I really do. It helps to have Milette there. I'm glad she's my manager. She's awesome :)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

♥

Day 1 of Work in Berkeley

Was okay. I was a little overwhelmed at one point for the obvious reason.. I'm not familiar with anything in the store. I had to keep asking... :\ I hope I didn't come off as annoying. -.-

I should be getting ready for work...

ciao.

♥

First day at Peet's in Berkeley

And I'm nervous.

Really nervous... I hope they like me... I hate making new friends because I feel like I'm being judged when I'm around people that I don't know.. :\

Work is at 10am, and now that the bridge is falling apart I don't have to worry about it! Woo! What great timing that is. My stomach has been in knots all night and I've been having terrible nightmares :\ I'm just anxious and nervous about the new place... I know it's normal.. I hope?

Well, any who. Yesterday was fun, other than the sleeping in my boyfriends car for four hours before I met up with my good friend Eddy at 11am... O.o I love hanging out with Eddy, he's so carefree and loving. He's a great friend. I'm grateful to know him. :D We went to the Conservatory Of Flowers and walked around Haight. It was a beautiful day. Then I got to go home with the boyfriend and relax. Ahh. My life is okay right now.

Time to get ready for work. *sighs*
Wish me luck!

♥

I don't know what I want to do with myself...

I don't know if that's a good thing. I'm stuck right now. That's the biggest feeling going through my whole body right now.

I think I have soo many things racing around in my head about the things I'd love to do and the things I want to do. It might be a lack of motivation or I just don't know how to go about doing any of the things on my mind. :\

I don't know what I want right now... Actually I do... But I think I'm just overwhelmed by it. :\

So much going on right now... Ugh, I just want to rest.


♥

And the weight just adds on...

I like it when I lose weight... Well I'm sure everyone is happy when they lose weight.. But see that weight loss is not lasting... And it's getting me. REALLY getting me. I hate this feeling. It's not a normal feeling compared to everyone else... It's a feeling of being out of control... AnaMia is disappointed, I'm disgusted and it's just the beginning of a downfall.

Ugh this feeling is overwhelming.. All I think about is that.. Why? I hate it. I want to think about something else :\

>.<

♥

And then this feeling takes over...

I've been a little overwhelmed with myself.. Just the whole transfering to the new store with my manager and trying to keep my hours...

And also my weight has been bothering me.. More so because it feels like something I can control. I know I can't "control" it the way I want to be I feel like I have the most control over it. The other things I'll just have to work with and let them unfold on their own...

Ugh this feeling of being out of control and then guilt right after is too much. And there's nothing I can do when I already made the choice to do it and it just becomes a vicious cycle. Fucking vicious cycle. >.<

I'm mad at myself right now for eating bad.. I had the option to not but I'm weak... And I always give in! >.<

Fuck me.
Starting over tomorrow.

♥

Continued~ Something New.

So I went to Berkeley yesterday and met with my manager. We went into the store just to look around and pretend we were customers.. My boss wanted to get a feel for the store, people and staff. It was sooo different compared to Fillmore.

I'm going to miss Fillmore soooo much. :( Everyone at Fillmore is my family, I worked with them since day one.. The store is almost like my home, I really just started to get to know where EVERYTHING is.. And all the customers that I've become familiar with. :\ Just a little stressed and anxious about the change... I think I'm going to miss it a lot. :( UGH!! But this should be good for me. Something new.

Hopefully.

♥

Something new.

So today I went to Berkeley with my manager to check out the store we're going to be transfering to in just two weeks. It was interesting... I'll elaborate more later. Time for bed!

♥