Music makes me dance

In the privacy of my own room ;)

I just want to dance, dance, dance...
~♥

Too Much Food...

I am officially obese.

Gotta work tomorrow morning at 5am!
Good night moon.

~♥

OMG.

I'm tired. Seriously.

Just two more days of work... Fucking a...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!! Woo!!

~♥

Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is almost here!! :O! That's so fast. Don't you think? I remember when it was just barely summer time and now it's almost Thanksgiving!! >.o

I think we're having turkey and the whole thanksgiving thing going on... I'm really looking forward to the Chinese sticky rice my aunt makes every year =^.^= It's the best. Yummy!

Two days till Turkey Day!!

~♥

I think I deserve something...

Good. I just think that... I've been a good person and have been doing good things... I think I should be rewarded in some way... Some time... Some how... Soon? o.O? Blah! I'm just rambling.

Well anywho. I just got home... Worked from 7-2:15pm ish.. I was supposed to be off at 1:30pm but it got waaaay too busy for me to leave.. I'm not that type of person to just leave when I'm scheduled to. If I see it's still busy and there is no one to available to help the customers, I'll stay till it clears out. I just don't feel right leaving everyone with a hell of a lot of shit to do.. And barely anyone there to do it. -.-

UGH!!!

I need a massage :(!

I need a good nights rest tonight!

~♥

Yay, The Weekend!

I'm so happy the weekend is here!!

Finally get to rest... Seth and I are going to visit his dad out in Stoneyford. (sp?) Going to watch some home movies/videos of when Seth was younger =^.^=! I'm excited!

Just cleaning up right now.. Going to leave... Hopefully before sunset.

Happy Friday!!

~♥

I'm going to hell for this...

I gave in... Ugh.. I'm upset yet relieved.. More so upset.

Porceline bowl + me = bad :(

I know I know... I've been doing so well. And That's why I'm soo upset with myself. :\ It's probably really bad right now because I'm at a low weight right now and when or if I eat... I freak out and I do stupid things.. I'm not as bad as before. I'm not that sick. And I won't let myself get there. *sighs* Sorry... :(

Shoot me, I deserve it.

~♥

The Holidays are overrated.

It's always the same thing. Why so much hype? o.O

Maybe I'm just a grump about it :P

Maybe I need more presents! ;)

Maybe I'm just crazy.

Presents make me happy :)

~♥

Good Morning Saturday.

I'm sleepy. I slept a good eight hours... I never do that. Feels nice :)

Going to SF to visit my grandpa.. He's super old... And not sure how much longer he has :\

~♥

I'm such a good person...

I think... I hope. o.O

I swear.. If I wasn't raised to be honest, loyal, trustworthy, nice and genuinely a good person... I think I'd be such an asshole. Why am I bringing this up? It just crossed my mind that I bend over backwards for my boss. She's an amazing person and has helped me through a lot. And I'm pretty much returning her the favor by staying at work for an extra hour or two after I'm supposed to be off... Or coming in on other days I don't work just to help her do some side projects... Why am I a good person? *sighs*

I hope something really good comes my way soon.

~♥

This is what I look forward to everyday...

Getting off of work!!! >.<

I swear I look at that clock and just hope for it to skip an hour... That has gotten worse. Like a lot worse. -.-

I would love something sweet right now.

~♥

Mmm?

Raspberry~lemon flavored iced tea

YUM.

~♥

This is what my Friday looks like.

Don't ask. I got off work at 11am and this is what I do with my spare time :)

Happy Friday!!! ~♥

Hello Wednesday

Worked today. It's really busy at this store. I like it. The time flies by soo fast :) I love work, Milette makes it's rediculously fun and tolerable. I've got it good, for the work situation at least.

In other news, I've been so stressed out that I didn't even realize I lost another 5lbs. I'm down to 100lbs. I'm not even trying to lose weight, if anything, I thought I was gaining weight :\ Oh well, it'll probably be gained back soon. Bleh.

I'm exhausted. My back has been killing me since last friday... I think I pulled something :\

RAWR.

~♥

Sweet November Ashes

At the end of every year, there's this feeling that lingers... A feeling of disappointment or even emptiness. These feelings have been conjuring up since January, and it's not the first time. It's every year. At this time. This exact time.

I ask myself why? It's because I wasted another year. I did absolutely nothing that could possibly benefit my future. *shrugs*

I'm just blabbing. Anyways, I find myself in a predicament. When am I not in a predicament? Need I say more. I don't know what to do with myself this coming year. I want to advance in the company, but I'm almost afraid to... I mentioned it to my manager... But I think the thought of me actually becoming successful is a little overwhelming.. So new opportunities, I tend to shy away from.. :\ Lame but it's true, I'm scared. That's sounds aweful coming from me, but it's the truth. I also want to go back to school, but go back to school for what? I don't know what I want to study and learn.. :\

These thoughts are never going to become something I'm going to actually act on. This sucks..

~♥

All eyes on me...

The idiot.

I feel like an idiot, moron, jackass, dumbass, lame, a loser... Etc..

It's been bothering me since. And I don't think it'll go away... I don't even think it'll go away when he asks me. It's almost like I want to say no to him if he ever asks me.. So I can make him feel like the way I did. :\ It's stupid and irrational but it's how I feel right now. I'm disappointed and sad. I'm depressed about it.

To make things worse... On Halloween, Seth and I went to his good friend's place to hangout and have dinner. His friend Andrea asked us if Seth and I ever thought about marriage. I wanted to say everything but yet everything in my head just disappointed me. I told them that I asked him and had a whole plan of having the ceremony in Hawaii... Andrea was in awe. I don't think Seth ever wants to hear about those things.. :\ I get these feelings when I think about it.. And I'm sure they are dead on. Then they asked if we were going to have kids or whatever... The whole package that comes along with those types of questions... :\

So last night I had a breakdown... I don't know what I was thinking.. Maybe it was just too much for me when they asked about Seth and I... I want to forget about that day I asked him. :(

I HATE MYSELF for that.
I do.

And this morning... When he was getting ready to leave and making his coffee... I hugged him and whispered to him,"Happy 17 months." He hessitated just a couple of seconds and then processed that it was our anniversary. Hense.. Why I had been asking if he wanted to take the time off since he had been having a long week.. And I thought he might like to take today off and spend it with me.. But that didn't register till this morning. So too late for me. :( Once again, I feel like a jackass.

Shoot me.

~♥