Overwhelmed.

I'm plagued with overwhelming thoughts...

Many of which consist of years of conflicting emotions about myself... :\

I'm insecure.

I'm frustrated.

I'm angry.

I'm sad.

I'm depressed.

I'm glad.

I'm grateful.

I'm selfish.

I'm mean.

I'm crazy.

I'm annoyed.

I'm satisfied.

I'm doubtful.

I'm uncomfortable.

I'm undoubtedly overwhelmed. :(

Every day there are these emotions and many more that rush through me but yet... I still have a stupid smile on my face. I'm pissed at myself for letting it become a habit.

On another note. I've always had this issue... Well more so in the past six years... I despise the way I look. I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not tall enough, I have no boobs, I have no ass, I'm incapable of performing for my boy friend, I'm don't feel sexually attractive and I feel like I'm trapped in a prepubescent girl's body... This list can go on, but my mind is in a rut. :\

I pull at my skin... Hoping that it'll change... Hoping it'll be different... Hoping something good will happen to me... Waiting for a miracle that'll never happen.

Yet another upset...