Saturday, December 12, 2009

I woke up crying...

Well.. Almost.. I woke up this morning and went to use Seth's computer because I couldn't sleep any more.. And when I turned on the screen I noticed an instant message from that girl he talked to when him and I had a really bad argument when he was in Hawaii. The things she said in that message immediately made me cringe. I was upset, I was pissed off, I was trembling. I asked him if he was still talking to her and why was she saying those things. My immediate emotion and reaction was to cut myself. I never feel that way, or it's been years since I wanted to react that way almost immediately when I felt sad. It triggered something deep down inside, I couldn't control myself... :( Seeing the way she talked to him made me wonder what he said to her to make her respond back that way... And when I asked him what he said to her, he just replied I don't remember... It bothers me a lot. I know he remembers.. I'm sure he's not going to tell me. Things like this make me really upset and hard for me to trust people... It hurts to think about it... :( I'm hurting inside. :*( He doesn't understand that pain, that pain that I have experienced before and once again.

I should have seen those signs all around me
But I was comfortable inside these wounds
So go ahead and take another piece of me, now
While we all bow down to you

~

No comments:

Post a Comment