MOVED!

I moved to my new place with the boy friend :D and i love it!!

Goodbye Summer

It's been a good deal of time since I last posted something...

The most dominant idea being tossed around in my head right now is about moving out. Seth and I have been discussing this for a little while now because of the horrible situation he is in at home. After going on vacation with him and being with him more, I find he's starting to stand his ground. I'm glad for him, he needs to step away from that awful dilemma at home.

We've been looking at apartments and housing. It's not something too far off of what he's doing now, it's just a matter of getting this whole process moving along. I hate to see this go on till Christmas. The longer it goes on for, the worse off everyone is. I'm really fighting for him and his freedom from his family's issues for good.

I know he's serious with me when he and I were looking at homes. I suggested at least two to three bedrooms and he replied back, "you know... In the future, when we have kids." I know that he's committed to me, I know I'm what he wants and is fighting for.. And this feeling is the most comforting feeling in the world. It makes me want to do anything and everything. He's my rock, he keeps me sane.

I'm really hoping this change happens soon, soon as in before the year ends. It'll be a great way to start 2011.

♥

Hawai'i 2010

Hawai'i was even more amazing in person :D

I had a wonderful trip =^.^= I plan to go back there again.

A Little Depressed... But I'm Pushing Forward

I've been having a few health issues lately and it's been bringing me down..

Usually when something is wrong, I tend fall back into other bad habits that promote unhealthy choices... Hence my eating disorder... Which then makes me more depressed.

I just hope this issue resolves itself...  :*(

I'm hoping and doing all that I can to make it go away while trying to keep everything together..

♥

*giggles*

You know what's funny to me?...

I cry because I'm pathetic... I cry about everything... Like...

~How I upset my boyfriend and that I fail at being a girl friend. 

~I cry because I can't fix things physically and some how it feels like it'll go away for just a little while longer until I cry again..

~I cry because I think about the time my boy friend resorted talking to another woman when he and I had problems... And I feel like he'll do it again.. Because I'm a piece of shit. (who wouldn't? it's okay, I've been cheated on... now I know why.)

~I cry because I'm the reason there's always a problem.

~I cry because I'm the reason there's no more romance.

~I cry because I'm weak.

~I cry because I'm an ugly piece of shit.

~I cry because I can't seen to do anything right.

~I cry because he probably thinks about other women.

~I cry because I'm not pretty.

~I cry because I will never be good enough.

~I cry because I can't just suck it up.

~I cry because I have nothing going for me.

~I cry because I can't make any situation any better.. Only worse.

~I cry because there's nothing else I find myself better at doing. :*(

♥

Oh How Beautiful You Feel When Your World Burns In Hell...

I feel like shit.
I haven't been sleeping much and I don't want to sleep when I am tired.
I've fallen back into my eating disorder and I have no control.
There's enough on my mind to tip the scale alone.

I'm depressed again. But not that kind of depressed. The kind of depressed where you don't know what to do... So you think and wait... And do nothing.

Is this the path I'm going again..?

♥

Two Year Anniversary!

Today is my two year anniversary with Seth :)

I've never been soo happy with someone. He's always there for me. He loves me to death and I love him with all my heart. I see myself being with him forever. He's the one that keeps me on my feet and helps back up when I fall into my depression. I never want to be without him. He's my world. ♥

I love him soo much.
I couldn't be any happier.
I never thought I'd find someone like him.


♥